I Can’t Bake

.. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t own a polka dot pinny or a ‘keep calm and carry on’ poster or anything remotely connected with cupcakes. I prefer not to have much to do with eggs because of that mucus that trails out when you crack them open. I’m good at stir fries and curries and things on the hob but I tend to avoid the oven. Last week, I managed to plunge my finger into a ready-made shepherd’s pie that was so burnt that its plastic tray had disintegrated. I don’t watch the UK’s Next Top Master Baker. I don’t spend days in a kitchen bathed in sunlight and daffodils, helping my child to make fairy cakes (thankfully, Tom does get to do baking with his Nan and Aunties.)

I can’t bake and if I’m honest, I sometimes feel a bit left out because it looks as though all mums are supposed to. No one teaches you how to bake cupcakes in antenatal classes. (Actually, I didn’t go to those – maybe they do.)

I can’t bake. But I can buy a Morrisons tray bake, shower it in brown sugar and sculpt stuff out of icing to plonk on the top. And I’m bloody proud of that.


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10 responses to “I Can’t Bake

  1. I can assure you that baking cupcakes is not taught at antenatal. Not being able to bake is a lot more common than you think, although it is becoming fashionable in places. I know that I am in a minority for actually baking things from scratch for school fundraising. They struggle getting enough cakes every time. Mind you, I can make cupcakes but I can’t decorate them sufficiently well to save my life.

    Love the cake! I am rubbish at sugarcraft. Even rolling it out is a challenge šŸ™‚

    • Emily

      it is fashionable, isn’t it? I’ll never get the cupcake thing.

      Thanks. I didn’t know there was a word for it (sugarcraft!) There was no rolling. I haven’t got a rolling pin. I just treated it like play-doh.

  2. The cake looks awesome Emily! Baking is not easy. Im in the process of baking a cake right now….half of it has stuck to the tin but oh well!

    • Emily

      Thanks. I am never baking again. After this, my brilliant baker friend made him a gingerbread pyramid, so there was a (delicious) freshly-baked option. My thought are with the parents who let their children anywhere near my half-creation.

  3. I can bake. And knit and sew. I can’t really do housework though. My parents have a very gender-stereotyped division of labour and my mum liked to do things with us and teach us to do things and my dad didn’t like us to do things with him as we would make a mess of them. However, I do much less baking since becoming a mum as I don’t have time. And I feel really uneasy that the main things my daughters are going to see me do is cooking/cleaning/sewing – I want them to absolutely know that women can do pretty much everything equally as well as men. Though since becoming a single parent I have had to do everything (including the housework) – I have fixed a blind and replaced a broken toilet seat recently for starters. I also deal with my own spiders now.

    Your cake looks brilliant by the way. Despite my claims about being able to bake, I have a rubbish oven. Both birthday cakes I have made for my toddler have been rubbish – the first one was raw in the middle – due to my oven. I am getting a new one before my baby’s first birthday.

    • Emily

      I’m glad you’re getting a new oven soon – although I’d really recommend just buying a cake. You will be able to go back to work eventually, things are pretty new right now but one thing about having children is that they make time whizz by. You can train the toddler to deal with the spiders when she is a little older – that’s what I did. Well done on the blind! I have lived in the same house for four years and have never got curtains because I am frightened of using a drill.

      • I’m scared of drilling into the wall in case there are wires in there and I electrocute myself. Or make all the plaster fall off. Or something.

        I’m actually due back at work in two weeks. I’m not really looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to adult company and getting to achieve most things on a ‘to do’ list, but I think it’s going to be more juggling – and definitely too much time away from my children between being at work and them being at their dad’s.

  4. Have to say having a husband who loves baking and is profoundly good at it, means I have no requirements to bake. I shall eat though. That, I will do.

  5. That’s fantastic! Can’t believe it’s icing!

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