I always said I wasn’t keen on children because of their ability to ask infinite ‘whys’. Tom has now entered the ’why’ stage. It’s good, because it means he is intelligent and inquisitive, but it is also very annoying. He gets fixated on the tiniest things and just won’t let it drop.
“Why do I have to go to nursery?”
“Because I have to go to work.”
“Why?”
“We’ve been through this before. Because I need to make money.”
“Why?”
“Because money buys food.”
“Why do we need food?”
“Because without it we’d starve.”
“Why?”
“Because we wouldn’t have eaten anything.”
“Why?”
“Because we wouldn’t have any food to eat.”
“Why?”
“Because we would have any money with which to buy it, because I wouldn’t have been out to work, because you didn’t go to nursery. Now come on, we’re going to be late.”
“Why?”
Thank you for all the emails about the last post. I think I needed to write that stuff down because I couldn’t tell anyone. Already it seems absurd to me that I spared a thought for Dick. 99% of the time he is not on my mind, there are just odd moments when he sneaks back in. Tom made me laugh about it tonight. The main thing is that he isn’t bothered about his Father and as long as he isn’t, then neither am I.
I cringed when I realised the bedtime story Tom had chosen heavily featured a Dad. What great timing. I read it as normal but he still pulled me up:
“Mum, I haven’t got a Dad have I?”
“Well, everyone’s got a Dad. Some men are good at being Dads and some men aren’t.”
“Mine isn’t very good at it is he?”
“No.”
“Where is his house?”
“I don’t think he’s got a house.”
“Has he got a car?”
“I very much doubt it.”
“How about a handbag?”
“A handbag?!”
We both had a giggle.
“He’s not very good is he Mum? He hasn’t got a house or a car, or even a handbag.” Cue lots more giggles.
“He’s silly. I’ve got you and Nanny and all my Aunties and Uncles. Loads of different people! I don’t need a Dad!”
And there it was, straight from the mouth of the person it matters to most. Thank goodness for crestions.
I am still entitled to the odd blip though. Look out for the next one in precisely four weeks.
9 Comments
July 1, 2009 at 2:42 am
Why not tell him his dad died saving some kiddies from a fire in an orphanage? Give him a hero.
July 1, 2009 at 9:20 am
An interesting idea Mike, but probably not usable!
July 1, 2009 at 7:50 am
Lovely post!
July 1, 2009 at 9:20 am
Thank you, feeling much better now.
July 1, 2009 at 9:41 am
Oh brilliant, that made me giggle.
And the dialogue is so familiar. I blogged a similar one last year about man-holes… (actual man-holes, not a euphemism for a body part).
July 1, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Good for Tom! In a way I’m glad mine don’t talk yet though
July 2, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Clever Tom, clever Mom. Never lie to him…. but as you have shown you don’t need to bash the dad either.
September 18, 2009 at 2:14 pm
My daughter is doing the exact same thing- both the whys and the dad questions and I just wanted to let you know that for some reason just knowing somebody else has to deal with this BS makes it a lot easier for me to deal with it. (Occasionally slamming my head into a cabinet during the why interrogations used to help because it distracted her and made her laugh, now she’s just asks me why I did it…reading one of your posts afterward is a much better coping mechanism).
September 18, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Thank you so much. It is really good and extremely flattering to know I help people in a similar situation cope: I started the blog for other lone parents and wish more of them would read it.
When I was pregnant and before Tom could talk, I was petrified of the dreaded question but now, when it comes, I find myself just managing somehow. At the moment, he has decided to tell his school friends that his Dad lives in Australia (he would be of the same use there as he is in London.) I always want to be as honest as I can with him about his dad, so I have told him that his dad doesn’t live in Australia but he insists that he does: When Tom was a baby (and I was more flush), we went on holiday to Australia. He still asks to look at the photographs and we talk about it a lot and look at it on the world map. He has grasped the concept of it being about as far away as one can get without venturing into space, so he has decided to tell himself that’s where his dad is, which is a clever way of him coping with him not being around. Personally, I think his Dad is on another planet.
Sorry, I’ve just written nearly a whole post. I’ll save that for my next day of interrogation. Until then, thank you, good luck and keep reading
xx